The Importance of Connection
No matter how much of a hermit or an introvert you might be, there is no denying that we humans were made to need each other. There are very few humans, if any, who can function completely without other people. As English poet John Donne said, “No man is an island.”
But sometimes we get so busy at our jobs, we lose track of time and forget to stay in touch with the family and friends that we truly value and appreciate. At other times, distance, finances, or sickness can restrict our ability to be with those we love.
So how do we stay in touch? Depending on the ages of our loved ones, spending time with someone who is physically a distance away can take various forms. The fact that we live in the age of technology makes connecting with our loved ones easier than ever before.
Snail Mail – It may be slow, but is always appreciated.
Letter writing has become a lost art. Life today has become so fast paced that we seldom even think of taking the time to use a paper and pen for writing. We are spoiled by the ability to dictate a text message into our phones and have it arrive almost instantly at its intended destination.
But how do we communicate with those who are unable to text or email? The old-fashioned way. Write a letter! All we need is paper, a pen, an envelope, a stamp. and access to a mailbox to send it.
If writing to a younger person, you might want to print instead and encourage them to write back.
Can’t think of things to write about? Tell a story. Write about your day. Describe what the weather is like, especially if you’re writing to someone who doesn’t experience the same seasons you do.
Letter writing is more about the thought and the connection than it is about the content, so keep your message positive. You want your friend or relative to feel happy to receive an uplifting, handwritten letter from you! If you don’t think you have time for a full letter, why not send a postcard? Kids especially love to receive mail. This could be a wonderful way to stay in touch, all for the price of a little time and a stamp.
Remembering Your Family With Gifts Delivered to Their Doors
With family stretched from one end of the country to the other, trying to find and wrap gifts, take them to the post office and pay the outrageous shipping charges finally got us shopping online. Have you started yet? So much easier. Here are some tips we realized:
• Most e-commerce sites are online stores which should have an online electronic catalogue listing all products price for sale. and a search feature to make it possible to locate a product easily.
• You want to be able to trace your purchases.
• The most important part would be a secure online payment ability.
• Check reviews before ordering. Don’t just look at the positive reviews or the star ratings, but take the time to read a number of the negative reviews as well. For instance, we were considering a children’s Bible that had a lot of positive reviews, but after reading several of the negative ones, we realized that we probably wouldn’t want to make the purchase.
• Check if shipping is free if you spend a certain amount. Many places will offer free shipping if you spend over a specific amount. Also decide whether getting your purchase faster is worth the higher price. We have often found that our products still arrive quickly, even with standard shipping. If your item is coming from another country, check whether you might have to pay duty on your purchase. We sometimes find that it’s easier to order online and have things sent directly to the recipient, although there may be times when that isn’t possible.
Remember the Telephone?
Have you ever caught yourself wishing you could send an email or text message to an elderly relative, but you realize that might be beyond their capability? One technology they are familiar with and are usually able to still use is the telephone. Many phone plans have free long-distance calls, so it likely won’t cost extra for voice calls. Nursing homes and hospitals often have each patient room wired for telephone communication. Why not take advantage of this and call?
Choose a time when you won’t feel too rushed. Give the other person time to talk. On the other hand, you might need to plan for a way to end the conversation after a respectable length of time. If you’re not sure what to say, prepare a list of topics before hand. Share the positive news in your life. Mention the people you have in common, such as family members and friends.
Avoid any negative discussion and plan to be positive. You want your call to be a blessing to the other person. But be prepared to be a gracious listener, even to potentially depressing stories from the other person. Understand that loneliness can cause a negative mindset and try to stay as upbeat as you can.
It may sometimes not seem like it, but be assured that your call is appreciated. Most people value family and friends. This especially true for seniors, so don’t be afraid to reach out when you can.
Another thing you could do with the telephone is combine it with modern technology and record a memoir. Did you know you can easily record your audio using the telephone? With a service such as Free Conference Calling, you can do just that. You’ll be given a special bridge number that you can use over and over again, as often as you like. Push a button and talk and your call is recorded. Once the call is finished, simply hang up and the recording stops. Then later in the day, login to your account and the mp3 of your call will be there waiting for you. The audio can then be downloaded to your computer and shared with others. I’ve even recorded my mother’s history to be kept as a forever memory for the family.
FaceTime
If you have an iPhone, you’re probably familiar with FaceTime. The downside of FaceTime is that it’s only available on Apple devices. What makes FaceTime the best by far is how easy it is to use.
FaceTime works with the iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and even Mac computers. You can chat one-on-one and even have group chats using FaceTIme, with up to 32 people participating at once. The app can run on WiFi or using cellular data, so you’re only limited by the connections available.
You can either use the front facing camera to show your face or switch to the rear facing camera to show your friends and family the view from where you’re sitting. You can also take a photo of what is showing during your FaceTime session and save it with your other photos.
The ability to have a video chat to worldwide is a big plus for family members who live a distance from one another. We have two sons and their families on the west coast of Canada, a five hour flight from us, so visits are usually no more than once a year and sometimes less. We rely on FaceTime so our grandgirls don’t forget us.
We’ve also found FaceTime useful for helping the younger grands with their reading. We get two copies of the same book, give one to the grandchild, and take turns reading the book together. We can see when they might be struggling over a word or when it seems like they’ve come to the end of their enjoyment of the book. Then we can either jump in and help or finish our session for the day.
Zoom
Since not all of our family have the ability to use FaceTime, our other video choice is to use Zoom. Then any computer or smart phone can connect and our big, noisy family can all see one another and talk, no matter what country we live in. It can get pretty chaotic, so Zoom has an option for us to break into smaller online rooms to visit. We can even play games together and I can record our whole session to watch on those days when I’m missing everyone.
Zoom downloads and installs quickly and easily on desktop computers and allows all participants with cameras and microphones to see and hear each other throughout the meeting and hosts can record the whole session. There is also a chat box that you can call up as a sidebar. Participants can send a message to everyone, or send a private message to another participant. You can even have your own private conversation in the chat window. Participants can save the public part of the chat as well. That way, you can have a written record of who is bringing what to that family reunion, for instance.
Hosts can switch back and forth between appearing on camera and showing their computer screens. That big separated family of yours can even all watch a movie together online and chat as you watch. And if Aunt Carol keeps asking what’s going to happen next or why did they do that, you can discreetly mute her.
Zoom can also be the perfect place to meet a friend for coffee. All you need to do is email a link. Your friend will be able to just click the link and join you. The bonus is being able to visit using a larger screen than the one available on your smart phone.
Zoom is fairly simple to use and they have a free plan, as well as a paid one. If you need help getting started, I have a video course that takes you step-by step how to use Zoom. Easy Zoom Training.
Forever Recordings To Privately Share
To record myself on my computer screen I use Screenpal. I can then add the videos I create to a Youtube channel or send them to other people through Dropbox.
Screenpal even has their own video hosting service. For about $15 a year, I can add my videos and share the link with the special people in my life. Click here for a short video I created for you about Screenpal.
You can mark your videos as Unlisted and host them on YouTube. That way you have the advantage of a free service plus no one would be able to access one of your videos without the link for it. Here’s a video I created showing you how to get started on Youtube and the privacy settings.
Facebook
If Facebook is where your family and friends like to connect, you could set up a private Facebook group and go live in the group. The downside to that is that you are the only one that can be seen and heard on the video, but the comments to you will all be by text chat. I haven’t used that option much, but I think you can download the recording to your computer afterwards as well.
WhatsApp
WhatsApp is another messaging app brought to you by Facebook. Cross-platform means that you can video chat with your friends and family no matter what kind of smartphone they have. Of course, they need to have WhatsApp installed on their phones to chat. Because WhatsApp operates on your internet connection, instead of through your cell phone provider, you don’t need to be concerned about expensive long- distance cell phone charges.
One of the great things about WhatsApp is that it’s versatile. You can use it like a regular messaging app, sending texts, pictures, and videos. You can also use it as a video chat app for live conversations. There is also a group chat option that allows you to share your messages, videos, and photos with up to 256 people at once. We use it for our church ladies group. It’s also perfect for planning the next family reunion, or even having a virtual family reunion with everyone in attendance!
When my older granddaughter and her family were living in Italy, we often used Whats App to keep in touch with them and see all the recent family photos without it costing her anything to do so. I was able to save the pictures she sent and we sometimes forgot we were continents away from one another.
To Think About
Depending on the ages and technical abilities of those we are contacting, different methods may work better than others. For instance, I find that my younger grandchildren like to see grandpa and I as well as hear our voices. They enjoy showing us their new toys, or clothes, or dance moves. Sometimes they like to play with the apps that change their appearance on the screen and make us laugh.
With the teens in our lives, texting is their preferred method of communication. They like quick interactions, short sentences, and open-ended conversations. Sometimes they will send me a text, I’ll respond and then I won’t hear their response for hours or even days later. It may not be the way I’d like to spend time with them, but getting brief glimpses of their lives still keeps me involved. You may prefer talking on the telephone, but families are busy these days and I’d rather read a two sentence text than have them feel they need to carve out half an hour so they can talk to me. The key is to keep the communication open in whatever ways possible.
Ideas for Connection
• Send your grandchildren each a notebook and encourage them to write and draw about different things they see during their day and their outings. Then get them to either show you virtually or tell you about them.
• You write one chapter and your special young person writes back the next chapter to you. Keep everything and create your own chapter book. You can add their drawings and even publish it on a platform such as Amazon or Lulu.
• Decide on a book to read together and discuss. We took this a step further with our grandgirl to help her reading. We sent a copy of a chapter book and also had a copy of our own, then we took turns reading it on FaceTime – although this also works well for the telephone.
• Share hobbies and recipes with one another.
• Learn a musical instrument or take an online course together and talk about how you are both doing. This will include emails, so lots of interaction. Even my 84 year-old mother, my daughter, and I all took the same online courses and emailed back and forth to keep up with our progress and to encourage one another when we got stuck.
• Choose a topic per month and research it, see who can find out the most information.
• Use Zoom and watch Youtube videos together and discuss them. Ted Talks are especially encouraging.
• If you can’t seem to get the exercise you need to, why not exercise together virtually. A small group of older ladies and I meet regularly on Zoom, chat a bit and then we watch – and participate – in an online dance exercise class together. As well as seeing the fit younger ladies doing the video, we can see one another trying our best to do what we can – even if it means sitting in a chair and only doing the arm strengthening parts of the workout. The upbeat music is an extra benefit.
If you’d like more specifics about connecting with those you love, why not check out my Keep In Touch Planner in the shop?
