When my husband was a boy, he often heard the words “be careful”. I’m afraid I was the same way with my boys. But my daughter encourages my grandson to try new things and doesn’t hinder him with her fearful thoughts. As a result, he is very outgoing and comfortable in new situations – many of which could be intimidating.
Case in point – we all went to visit the Canadian National Exhibition recently. One of the activities was a pizza making workshop. There were about thirty kids involved, as well as parents and grandparents taking pictures of them. Grandson held up his hand to answer questions and participated with the others, even though at four years old, he was one of the youngest involved.
I was really impressed with his self-confidence and ability to interact with everyone. He is one child who won’t have any trouble starting kindergarten this month. Now if I can just remember to encourage his pursuits, rather than instilling a fear of the unknown. How about your grandkids? How do you help with their self-esteem?
I think some of a child’s personality is innate, but parents and grandparents can help by offering well-deserved praise. When we praise kids for every little thing, we can actually undermine their confidence. Because our praise is offered too freely, they are afraid to give it any credence. As for your husband. Research shows that cautious people live longer.
Susan, I agree that praise needs to be well-deserved and not handed out for every little thing. Otherwise, when those children become adults, they are in for a rude awakening when other people don’t think they’re as wonderful as they were led to believe.
As for being cautious, they may live longer, but often miss out on a lot of living.