Should I or shouldn’t I? Retire that is.
With my 68th birthday quickly approaching, I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. My husband wants me to be free to spend more time with him. But what would I do with the rest of my life? I doubt he wants me with him 24/7, he has his own interests too. So what would my days look like if I try to keep us both happy?
This is what my front yard looks like right now. I don’t ski, or snowmobile, or do any other winter sports – although I bought myself some skates the other day, just in case the opportunity arises. So do I sit inside and knit or cook or clean? I’m not very domestic, cleaning is my favourite of those three options. I like to be on the computer, but too much isn’t good for my health, so I walk a fine line how much time to spend there.
I feel like a kid in a candy store with too many options and I don’t know what to do first. If I make certain choices I’ll be that kid that ends up with a toothache or an upset stomach, not feeling any happier at the end of the day. So I end up not making any conscious choices, floating along and hoping my purpose for the future will somehow appear.
I mentioned before that my business will be changing, but I’m not sure yet how that will look. I enjoy writing, so that will probably continue. I have online courses that need to be updated every so often and added to, so I’ll keep doing those as well. But that isn’t enough to give me a sense of purpose, so how will this new chapter of my life look?
What makes my heart sing is my volunteer work with ex-offenders and with the forgotten ladies at Grand Valley Women’s Prison. Last time I was there I read a group of the women a poem about our giftedness and how much potential has been put into each one of us. But I felt like they didn’t see any meaning for their lives and it saddened me that I couldn’t instill a hope for their future. Yes, they made wrong choices and are paying for those mistakes. But they are people, created in the image of God, and meant for so much more than they realize, or than many who see them realize either.
So that’s my story today, trying to figure out where my life is going and walk through the doors as they open. As we head into the end of this year, my hope for all of you is that your tomorrow will be bright and purposeful and filled with adventure.
All the best in whatever means success and happiness to you,
Carol
